The fire extinguisher – 1
The fire hazard at an airport is a fact of life one learns to live with very quickly. To overcome complacency, staff are regularly reminded of the need to observe fire prevention precautions and a further, constant reminder is also provided in the form of an abundance of red, hand-held fire extinguishers hung at strategic locations.
In view of the extremely expensive equipment housed on the floor occupied by the air traffic control operations room, these red bottles, with the funny, horn-like blowers, were to be found on the walls at every corner. Originally, they were of the CO2 type, the standard arrangement being with the horn facing downwards, nicely aligned with the bottle itself. In case of need, the horn could be turned towards the fire once the bottle was taken off the wall.
In time non-usage saw the joints of the horns become stiff enough to hold it unassisted in any direction, even straight upwards. One nice day controllers decided that the proper way for the horn to stand was straight up, like a …,well you know what. And so it became the sacred duty of each and every controller to coax the horn into an erect position, whenever they happened on a bottle with a drooping organ.
The chief of operations around this period was a guy who liked to do things by the book. Quite naturally his eyes could not tolerate the obscene sight of the perverted fire bottles. Characteristically, first he issued an operational order, forbidding the “improper storage of fire fighting equipment”. Predictably, this had very little effect. Next, he undertook a personal crusade, lowering upright horns, wherever he found one. The whole thing became a sort of ritual. The night shift would make sure that all the bottles got a nice erection, while Chief, ops. in the morning would do his best the reverse the situation. Rumor had it that after a time the bottles lost their erection on their own, just by casting their eyes on the ops. man’s out-of-shape form. One morning he finally tasted victory. On the long walk from the personnel entrance to his office he found only one bottle with an erection, the one outside his door. He felt that the time for the final showdown had come. He called a quick briefing meeting and at its conclusion led the assembled supervisors to the lone offending bottle. There he set off on a long tirade against the irresponsible persons whose perversion led to the disgrace of the whole air traffic control service. Seemingly satisfied with himself and the attention he was getting, he grabbed the horn and yanked it down.
His moment of triumph was completely ruined, however, when a Niagara of water cascaded on his carefully pressed suit… He stood there, dripping, while the first ripple of laughter started ringing in the corridor.
Even to-day, many years after this historic event, one occasionally finds a fire extinguisher with an erect horn but we think twice before an attempt is made to lower it…