It is so much fun flying these days! Getting to the airport, struggling through security, navigating the intricate web of shops and eateries while waiting for the gate to be posted are just the small pleasures you get for the exorbitant service fees you are charged over and above the “cheap” airline ticket.
But fly Brussels Airlines from their home base in Brussels and you are treated to some extra fun. And not one either. On every trip if you are lucky (read more about this here and here).
On the morning of 7 December 2010 the scene at the gate allocated to SN flight 2901 was quite normal. Passengers to Vienna were gathering and the two gate agents (one male one female) were busy getting ready for the boarding process.
Of course one hidden mine was already there, firmly embedded in SN operations. In case you are not aware of this, Brussels Airlines flies a collection of Avro RJ (85 and 100)/Bae 146-200 and Boeing 737s on their European network. Flights to Vienna see both the 737s and the others and of course the boarding process of the 737 is (or should be) different from that of the much smaller RJs. SN seems to use the same procedure for both and in particular, they have the famous priority entry, reserved for business class and B Flex Economy+ passengers who are boarded first… The only problem is, business and the B Flex sections are in the first part of the cabin and the priority boarders create a mighty traffic jam in the aisle while they stow their gear. When the rest of the herd arrives, they are blocked from reaching the back of the plane, a situation that results in a messy scene and creates a totally unnecessary delay in completing the process. If only they would first call the last few rows like so many other airlines do…
But this morning they did one better, earning one of the employees (of SN???) the less than endearing title “asshole” from most of the English-speaking passengers on the flight. Here is what happened.
Most boarding gates in Terminal A at Brussels Airport are arranged such that in principle three lanes are available for passengers to show their boarding passes and proceed to the jetway. Of those, the Priority Entrance and one normal entrance come together at the same boarding pass scanner (see sketch below). In most situations, the people eligible for the priority entrance are allowed through first while the rest wait patiently for their turn. Normally, only one such pent-up queue is formed but on occasion there are two, both with patient passengers waiting in the knowledge that they have paid less so they have to wait a bit longer.
Of course those with some experience with aircraft cabins know that you better be somewhere near the head of those lines, especially if you have gear to stow. Stand at the back of the line and you will find yourself wandering in the aisle desperately searching for a place for your beloved trolley bag. Yes, second class queue or not, being up front is a must!
On this particular morning the young lady working the priority entrance had some difficulty keeping ineligible passengers at bay. Some tried to sneak through in spite of her repeated pleas for proper sorting. People were milling around, surging and then being sent back… more loud calls for only priority passengers to come forward please… and then it happened.
The guy later called “asshole” appeared. He was tall, carried a badge around his neck and one could imagine that he was some kind of supervisor. He surveyed the unruly scene with consternation and then launched into action. I guess he wanted to speed up things (departure time was fast approaching) but as it turned out, he could better have called in sick that day.
While the lady was still struggling to keep non-priority people back, the “asshole” opened the third lane (where only non-priority passengers were queuing) and started allowing them through! This enraged those having waited patiently in lane two but also those who were picked from the priority crowd and sent to wait in limbo, no longer belonging to any particular queue.
I will not deny it, I too had a few unkind words to say about their ability to organize things (though the very apt “asshole” designation came a bit later from somebody else)… That arrogant fool did not even have the grace to at least apologize for the colossal PR mess he had just created. Instead he announced loudly that people should not worry, everyone will get on board. As if he did not know why the front of the queue is more valuable than the back… This remark was what earned him the “asshole” tag to the great satisfaction of those standing near the front.
After a few seconds of stunned surprise, the young lady at least had the good sensed of allowing people in lane two to proceed also, never mind that they were now mixing into the elite crowd. When I passed her, I could not resist observing: Do you think this is the way to board and aircraft?
Her reply: I do not know what he is doing here… he should not even be here!
I have been wondering ever since. Who are you “asshole” and why are they allowing you to come anywhere near passengers?
At the time I did not know that we would be treated to more fun by Brussels Airport on the return trip… you can read about that in Part 2 of this story.
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